A Social Butterfly and Chicken Shit Bingo

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Every week the Recreation Director (who is also the grub luger) sends out a Recreation calendar. Here are the activities we can take in this week:

WEEK IN RECREATION FOR 10-1 TO 10-7

 MONDAY

ART HISTORY CLASS

7:30 PM IN THE LARGE CONFERENCE ROOM

  “NEW” MOVIE NIGHT

FEATURE

CHLOE

7:30 PM B1 LOUNGE

                                                        TUESDAY

BADMINTON

7 PM IN THE GYM

 “FABULOUS FILMS”

7:15 PM B1 LOUNGE

                                      WEDNESDAY

SOCCER

7 PM IN THE GYM

                                         THURSDAY

MOVIE NIGHT

7:30 PM B1 LOUNGE

 

VOLLEYBALL

7 PM IN THE GYM

                                              SUNDAY

BIKRAM YOGA

10 AM IN THE GYM

                                           VOLLEYBALL

2 PM IN THE GYM

THE WINDS OF WAR

6 PM B1 LOUNGE

This calendar doesn’t even cover all the impromptu fun- like pool games, movie marathons, drinking to excess, and having conversations that go from baseball to highly inappropriate sexual positions in 55 seconds. No, wait- we were sober and that happened at lunch, but you get the idea. There are a lot of things to do at the bottom of the world on any given day. And, yet, just like my off ice life- I find myself putzing around my room; reading, writing letters, obviously not blogging, and listening to music while berating myself for not being more social.

When I was in graduate school in Detroit most of my friends were spoken word artists, musicians, artists, jewelry designers, published poets, and other people who did really cool things that generally required an audience on a Friday night. I would get invites to do some of the coolest stuff. Yet, most of the time I would use my friends Nicole’s line and when my friends would call I would say, “Oh yeah! I just have to put on some pants and I’ll be right over.” Then I would putz around my apartment (sans pants), talk to Gunnydog, read, write, listen to techno music, and hope no one noticed that I didn’t show up- all the while berating myself for not being more social.

People think I am so wicked social, but mostly it’s because I get nervous and can’t shut up. Part of not being able to shut up is throwing down my documentary writer education to ask all kinds of questions that are, quite honestly, none of my business, but people love talking about themselves. So, it follows, people think I am staggeringly extroverted.

Right now we are 7 months into an 8 month stint. The 50 of us here at the Pole have spent every day, every meal, every holiday, and every weekend hanging out together. My social credits are pretty close to expiring, so hiding in my room and putzing is actually a public service I am doing.

Tonight, in a valiant effort to be social, I went to SuperHero Bingo. I went as Super Polie Who Needs Her Hair Colored. Even with that mad super skill- I didn’t win. I should use my Super Honesty powers to admit right now I tend not to win things.

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JonO looks way hotter with grey hair than I ever will.

Once when I was waiting tables the bar next door had Chicken Shit Bingo, which is a highly skilled game of chance. You take a large piece of ply board and put squares with numbers on it. Folks buy a square for 10 bucks and write their name on the square. When all the squares are purchased, you lay the ply board on the floor and let a chicken loose on it. The square the chicken poops on, well that is the lucky winner of all the collected monies. The bartender came over and harassed me to buy the last square so they could have Chicken Shit Bingo that night. I begrudgingly gave him ten bucks (that was a ton’o’money in tips for a town that size) and that night the chicken shit on my name. I won a little under two thousand dollars. Other than chicken taking a haphazard dump on my name- I am not a highly evolved gambler. Even then, I wasn’t at the bar when the chicken took its dump. I was home- putzing and listening to music.

Meet a Polie: Heather “Poe-Poe” Porst

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Heather is super coolness. She is beautiful, brilliant, and she can say “Wanna play Dr.?” and sound super hot. She is our physician assistant this winter, and we are so wicked lucky to have her.

How did you hear about the polar program?

I was recruited by a patient at work, in an Emergency Department in Denver

Where are you from?

Born in NJ, but I have lived in FL, AL, GA and CO.

Where is your storage unit?

Storage unit is in Castle Rock, CO

How long have you been coming to the ice?

First year

Tell us what you do on the ice.

I’m the PA, Dentist, Physical Therapist, Pharmacist, Lab technician and Psychiatrist for the station.

What is your favorite thing about wintering?

The people that I’ve had the opportunity to meet, and that I don’t have TV, so I don’t have to see all the annoying political commercials.

What is it you most dislike about wintering?

I don’t have my pets with me.

What do you miss most while wintering?

Going out to restaurants and ordering what ever I want.

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If you could eat anything you wanted right now, what would it be?

Hibachi and sushi at ANY Japanese restaurant.

What is your most treasured possession on ice?

My fuzzy, red blanket.

How do you spend your leisure time?

Read, watch movies, play pool.

When and where were you most happiest?

Summer camp when I was a kid, when I lived in NJ, and getting to spend all day at the lake.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Not to take things so seriously and let things go. I stew.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

The death of a loved one, or pet.

What is the quality you, most like in a man?

                        A good sense of humor.

What is the quality you most like in a woman?

Being drama free.

What do you most value in your friends?

Honesty

What is the trait you most deplore in others?

Ignorance

Who are your heroes in real life?

Amelia Earhart

How would you like to die?

While sleeping

What are your plans when you get off the ice?

Travel for a couple weeks, then Christmas with my family.

Will you come back?

Maybe

What is your motto?

No matter how stupid you feel, you are always smarter than someone.

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Damn Ruskies!

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The other night I was working at the station store, if by ‘working’ we can agree I was loitering around, watching Julia Child cook some disgusting stuff circa 1975, and eating the low rent version of Whoppers we call Maltesers, when the IT help desk guru called and asked me where I was and what I was doing, because the computer in my room was being hacked by an IP address in Russia. Actually, it had already been hacked and the Russian IP address was running my computer.

The IT Guru told me to go turn it off now- or at least unplug the internet cable. I obliged and then was absolutely perplexed on why my computer would get hacked. I do approximately 5 things on my computer:

*G-mail
*E-bay
*Apply for jobs
*CNN or MSNBC
*Look at, but rarely post on this blog

 That’s it, that is all I do on my computer. There is an epic amount of downloading happening here at the Pole, so much so that several ‘offenders’ had to be put on stand-down from downloading anything. I have downloaded one thing since I have been here- this ridiculously funny video “Breaking the Barrier”. It took me HOURS to download it, and by the time I was done I pretty much hated the video for all the time and grief it took.

The IT Guru took my computer and headquarters in Denver are all excited about doing a forensic something or another on it. Thank god I don’t download porn, or I would be super chagrined right now with all of Lockheed Martin’s IT department up in my hard-drives grille.

 I do hope they like Breaking the Barrier though.

 

Meet a Polie: Jace

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I adore Jace for 10 million reasons. He is wise and kind and powerful in ways I don’t think he even realizes and he has a wickedly wonderful sense of humour. His marvelous answer when I asked if he wanted to be on my blog: 

 

Duh I wanna be on your blog, but only if it gets me laid. Promise?

How did you hear about the polar program?

     I found the job on coolworks.com about 2 years ago and a friend and I had a couple of beers and filled it out for shits and giggles.

Where are you from? Or where is your storage unit?
I’m  from Decorah, Iowa; also known as the center of the universe; seriously it’s the coolest place ever.
How long have you been coming to the ice?
This is my first year here in Antarctica, I was only supposed to be here for the 3 month summer season but my Chef offered me the winter position and I mean, come on, can you really turn something like that down?
Tell us what you do on the ice.
Right now I cook breakfast for my 49 closest friends and colleauges, but I switch between dinner and breakfast shifts with my ice BFF Mel.
What is your favorite thing about wintering?
Is this a trick question? I love seeing the auroras, that’s probably the best thing about being here right now. I like not having to pay for food, and free access to a gym.
What is it you most dislike about wintering?
I don’t like being the only openly gay guy down here… more than just being ridiculously horny, I just need some gays to talk about boy stuff with. I don’t like feeling singled out when I listen to Lady Gaga or watch Glee.
What do you miss most while wintering?
I miss my family terribly, I’ve never been away from home for this long before. I feel like it’s brought me and my little sister closer because we right/call each other constantly and probably have honest conversations more often than when I’m home.
If you could eat anything you wanted right now, what would it be?
A spinach salad with hard boiled eggs, red onions, good crisp bacon and heirloom tomatoes.
What is your most treasured possession on ice?
My iPod. It has so many songs that make me feel good and remind me of home. When I’m bummed all I have to do is put on a particular playlist and I feel like I can make it these next 90 days.
How do you spend your leisure time?
I spend a lot of time in the gym, cause it’s free, and I have very little better to do. On the weekends Mel and I watch Carnivale. And I call home for at least a half an hour a day. I also am loathe to admit that I spend a fair amount of time on the Facebook, which is something I can’t wait to stop doin when I’m home.

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When and where were you most happiest?
2 years ago I moved to Alaska with a good friend from Chicago to work at a lodge for the summer, and I was incredibly happy. Work was fun, rewarding and there were a lot of good people there. And I got to be outside all of the time, I am happiest when I’m running on a trail in the woods, and there was a lot of that to be done there.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I would remove my “wandering” gene so I would be content to just stay in one place for the rest of my life without getting that itch.
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
If you’re not happy by yourself and with yourself, then I don’t think it could get much worse than that.
What is the quality you, most like in a man?
I like men who are independent, and don’t need someone to define/validate/coddle them.
What is the quality you most like in a woman?
See above.
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What do you most value in your friends?
I love my friends who I can not see for years, not talk to for months and the next time we run into each other we pick right off where we left off as opposed to those folks who tend to resent you for “not keeping in touch” as if you did it to hurt them.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Superiority… I can’t stand when people feel like they’re better than you for whatever reason, humility is key.
Who are your heroes in real life?
My uncle Charlie is the coolest, most down to earth guy ever. He is always barefoot, owns his own farm, is sober and incredibly happy. I would love to be just like him someday.
How would you like to die?
After everyone else I know, so they don’t have to get hurt.
What are your plans when you get off the ice?
I’m in the process of trying to buy some land and build a house; the next step would be to plant some trees and get some pigs… and a man.
Will you come back?
I don’t think so. It’s been tough, but it’s been an overall positive experience, but there are just so many other places in the world to go and be and experience. Plus I don’t think it’s good for my soul to be away from family and nature for so long.
What is your motto?
Huh. I don’t think I have a motto. But I like that Bob Marley song that goes, “Don’t worry, be happy!”